The Great Depression Online

How to Survive the Great Depression

Today we pause from the markets and the countless charades taking place in Washington to do something a little out of the ordinary…to offer some advice.  We get many requests for it. 

But always decline to offer it.  For we are human just like you, and thus we don’t pretend to know any more than our fellow man.

Opinions are what we offer around here.  We make certain assumptions…that water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit, you can’t get something for nothing, and that artificially suppressing the cost of money distorts an economy.

Peering through this prism of natural and moral laws we interpret what’s going on in the world around us…and add a little insight and entertainment to the mix.

But we also value our readers…for you are our reason for being.  And after the many inquiries for advice we don’t want to let you down.  So here it is…from the heart…practical, discretionary advice on what you can do to make it through the economic crisis.

1.  Always take what’s yours…plus a little bit more.  You’ll undoubtedly need it with Barack Obama in office.

2.  Never shake hands with your right hand, without first crossing the fingers of your left hand securely behind your back.

3.  Always look out for No. 1, save stepping in No. 2.

4.  Never give a beggar your pocket change, except when to do so is to buy them a drink.

5.  Know the difference between honesty with yourself and honesty with others.  The former must be rigorous; the later must be flexible…especially when applying for insurance.

6.  Never kick a man when he is down; so too, never hasten to help him up.

7.  Always stiff your waitress…barring the rare occasion they actually earn the tip.

8.  Never con widows and orphans; all others are fair game.

9.  Do not worry about money; what you don’t have should be of little concern.

10.  Never forget that there’s a fool on every corner and a sucker born every minute.  Avoid being one of them when at all possible; for it is both demoralizing and expensive.

11.  Do not take it personal when you lose your job…this economy stinks; a lot of other good people will have lost theirs too.

12.  Remember always that this too shall pass; though never fast enough.  So keep your head up.  For even during a depression the birds still sing, the flowers still bloom, and those of sound mind and body get through it a little wiser…if not a lot slimmer.

That’s all we have for today.  If you would like to share your experience with us, or any other words of wisdom, please drop us a line at

Thanks for reading.


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